Every family has the right to choose how they would like to have children, and the story of Aaron and Rachel Halbert is a testament to that. While the Couple had no fertility issues, they both agreed that they would like to adopt. To Aaron and Rachel Halbert, this was not just a good idea; it was the RIGHT thing to do.
Their decision led to some of the most rewarding outcomes in the Couple’s life, as well as one fantastic event that left even their doctor baffled. What is this miracle, and how did it happen? Keep reading to find out!
It All Started With a Blind Date
While Aaron and Rachel might have come from different parts of the world ─ Aaron from Honduras and Rachel from Mississippi Delta ─ this difference did nothing to stand in their way.
For these two, it was love-at-first-sight the very moment they met on their blind date back in 2004 in Mississippi. Their love only continued to grow as they got to find out more about each other. As it would turn out, Aaron and Rachel had a lot in common. They were both missionaries and had the same goals of changing the world through the gospel. All that only went on to strengthen their growing relationship.
The Growth Process
The two didn’t feel any need to rush the beautiful relationship they already had. Instead, the Couple spent time during their mission trips getting to know each other better. This was where they got to find out some more facts about one another and discovered even more similarities they shared. One of the most relevant of these similarities was their take on adoption.
Both Rachel and Aaron wanted to adopt. Getting to know this brought them even closer together and was possibly one reason their relationship progressed into the exclusive category. Eventually, Aaron popped the question, and unsurprisingly, Rachel said yes! The two were wedded in 2006.
Their First Mission as a Couple
Just a little while after the two lovebirds got married, Aaron and Rachel had their first mission as a married couple. To make things even better, this particular one was to take place in Honduras, Aaron’s hometown.
Since Rachel was excited about the thought of seeing where the man she loved had grown up, and Aaron had always wanted to give back to his community, the two were in agreement about joining the mission. Later that year, the new Couple traveled to Honduras to join the other missionaries, where they worked as teachers in a town close to Tegucigalpa.
Concerns About the State of Things
The duration of their mission in Honduras brought about some concerning revelations. The most prominent being that the churches in the community needed to do more in preaching the gospel. The Couple was not shy about speaking up about these concerns and did whatever they could to help.
Within a little while, it became time for the Halberts to return home to Mississippi. While they wanted to stay longer and help cause the changes they felt were necessary for the community, they returned to their homes satisfied with what they had been able to accomplish. Notwithstanding, the Couple hoped for an opportunity to return someday.
Chasing Dreams
On returning from the trip to Honduras, one would have thought the family would settle back into their regular routine, but this was not the case. Probably spurred on by the experience on their most recent missionary trip and the need for proper teaching of the Gospel, Aaron decided to pursue his long-time dream of getting a pastoral degree. Rachel was entirely in support of this plan.
So that was precisely what he did. Just a little while after returning from their mission, Aaron started his studies at the Reformed Theological Seminary in Jackson, Mississippi, for a Master’s degree in Divinity.
Ready for Children
As much as the newly wedded Mr. and Mrs. Halbert wanted to have children, they knew their work as missionaries would make parenting challenging. With this in mind, the Halberts decided to exercise their faith while waiting and focusing on their job as missionaries.
It wasn’t until a few years after Aaron got his degree that the two felt it was time to have their first child. With the Couple now ready to become parents, it now became the time to have a crucial conversation ─ how would they rather have children.
The Couple Get Their First Kids
While this might have been an easy decision for most families, it wasn’t for the Halberts. This was because, while both Aaron and Rachel wanted to have children of their own, they had also always wanted to adopt. Now, they had to choose one… or did they?
After contemplating their options and the benefits of both, Aaron and Rachel finally concluded ─ why choose one when you could choose both? That reasoning resolved the dilemma with the Couple deciding to both adopt children and attempt to conceive. It ended up being the right choice because although Rachel didn’t get pregnant, the Couple did get two beautiful babies!
Second Trip to Honduras
The adoption happened on their second trip to Honduras. With the family having always wanted to return, they were more than happy to join the Presbyterian Church of America on their mission to Honduras. During this time, the Couple decided to visit an adoption agency to properly educate themselves on the adoption process.
On visiting the adoption agency, the Halberts knew this was the right thing to do. There were kids without a family to call their own. The Couple believed adopting such children was not just the right choice but something more people should do.
The Adoption
Choosing which children to adopt was not a decision the Halberts took lightly, though. Aaron and Rachel actually spent quite some time pondering on this. They understood that adoption was practically a permanent affair, hence, not something to rush into, so they did a lot of investigation and information gathering.
While learning what they could about adoption, the Couple came to discover something that would end up leading to them adopting the beautiful children. While it was generally tough for orphans to find new homes in their community, it was much more challenging if those orphans were non-Caucasians.
A Bold Choice
This knowledge led to the Halberts making one of the boldest decisions they ever made ─ to adopt any child except a Caucasian one. They also reasoned that if God’s plan was for them to have Caucasian children, Rachel would naturally conceive. On arriving at the adoption agency, it became even more convincing that they had made the right decision.
The agency quickly found a match for the Halberts, and they immediately fell in love with the two babies. A little while later, the two African-American babies ─ Ford and Catherine ─ became members of the Halbert family.
Wanting More
As new parents Aaron and Rachel were even busier than they usually were, this did nothing to diminish their joy from getting their first children. It wasn’t long before they soon began discussing having more kids.
Once again, they considered their options ─ conceive or adopt. They were still in the process of deciding when a fated discussion with a friend of the family introduced them to embryo adoption. Although Aaron and Rachel had no idea of the process, they saw the timely introduction as a sign and decided to look more into it. Again, the decision ended up paying off.
Embryo Adoption
In the weeks following the Couple’s introduction to embryo adoption, they spent as much time as they could on finding out what the technology entailed. This research once again led to discovering facts that would once again broadly impact the Halberts’ future.
All over the world, thousands of embryos are frozen yearly. In the United States alone, there are several hundreds of thousands of these embryos in different institutions. Few of these embryos are selected by their biological parents. Still, the majority are either donated to be used for experimentation, destroyed, or kept frozen.
Another Bold Step
On realizing this, Aaron and Rachel felt obligated to make use of this method. They believed these embryos had a right to be allowed to live. To the Halberts, adopting some of these embryos wasn’t just a great idea; it was something anyone who believed life begins at inception ─ Christian or otherwise ─ should be willing to try out.
After carrying out more research on the process and feeling confident enough with their preparedness, the Couple decided it was time to begin the process, so they approached the National Embryo Donation Centre to get started.
A Whole New Experience
While Rachel was utterly ecstatic about getting started on the process, she was also very nervous and quite scared. This was going to be an entirely new experience for her. Unlike regular adoption, embryo adoption meant Rachel would have to carry the baby or babies in her womb. That would mean practically becoming pregnant ─ something she has never done before.
Regardless of her fears and nervousness, however, she still decided to go ahead with the process. She underwent the necessary treatment to prepare her body for the embryo transfer. All went well, and in September of 2015, she began the in-vitro fertilization process.
The Difficulties
The embryo adoption process was not easy for Rachel as the mother and the Halberts as a whole. As it is with most in-vitro fertilization processes, the Couple faced a few challenges.
Apart from the fact that it took months of hormone treatment to get Rachel ready for the actual adoption, there was still the question of whether it would all pay off since there was only a 10 percent chance of the embryo taking in any embryo adoption. There was also the issue of cost since a single implant costs between $10,000 to $15,000.
Pulling Through
This was the situation the Couple was dealing with while preparing for their return trip to Honduras for their next missionary trip. Aaron and Rachel had to delay the journey to complete the process. After it was completed, the family ─ little Ford and Catherine included ─ boarded a plane to Honduras with no time to spare.
Six weeks after implantation, the Couple visited a local hospital in Honduras to determine whether or not the embryos took or not. The result of their visit to the hospital was a cause for celebration. Rachel was officially pregnant!
A Shocking Discovery
The good news aside, something didn’t add up. As they checked to see if the implants took or not, the Couple had done their best to explain their situation to the doctor. Being someone familiar with in-vitro fertilization, the process in which Rachel underwent was nothing new to him. On receiving the result of their ultrasound scan, however, the doctor showed some confusion.
The doctor questioned them again to make sure he hadn’t missed anything and was assured that he hadn’t. This only went on to outstand him. The result of the ultrasound and their story was not adding up.
The Miracle
On seeing the result of the ultrasound scan, the Couple understood why. While the procedure was indeed a success and Rachel was now pregnant, she had three babies in her womb. That was one more than was implanted in her!
Just a few years after the Halberts had their first children, they were now preparing to welcome not only the twins initially expected but triplets! Despite the doctor’s confoundment, the Halberts were delighted! To them, this was a miracle—a true gift from God and something they’d forever cherish.
Joy Overflowing
The next few months were some of the most exciting for the Halbert family. Aaron and Rachel were obviously anticipating the new addition to their family, but the real proof of this anticipation and joy came from little Ford and Catherine, who were ecstatic.
Aaron once showed how much joy the pregnancy brought to his family. He posted online how delightful he felt watching his son, with his dark brown skin, and daughter, with her ringlet hair, kissing his white wife's growing belly and saying their goodnights each evening to the three growing little girls in the belly.
A Bigger Family
In 2016 Rachel finally gave birth to beautiful baby girls Anne, Whitley, and Ryley. All of them were, again, of African-American origins. The Halbert Family now boasted five kids, and while was one more than the Couple initially planned, they believed it was so much better.
Rachel and Aaron shared the same love they showed Ford and Catherine to the triplets, making the family even happier. Ford and Catherine also received their new triplets with open hands treating them like any blood relation ever would. This made Aaron and Rachel very happy.
Beauty in Diversity
Aaron and Rachel loved how racially diverse their family was and found beauty in that diversity. Though the family was not connected by blood, they all deeply loved each other. Despite their skin color making it evident that the family was unrelated by blood, there was a unique appeal to this multi-ethnicity, something both parents loved.
This multi-ethnicity affected Aaron and Rachel in ways they couldn’t have initially imagined. Aaron explained this perfectly by saying that there was something enriching and beautiful about being the only white person sitting and chatting among a group of African-American friends while his son got his hair cut on a Saturday morning.
All the Support They Need
Nothing quite beats the knowledge that your loved ones support your decisions no matter how strange and unusual they might be. This support came to the Halberts in droves, both from friends and family members alike.
It had always been evident to the Couple that criticism and disapproval were bound to follow their decision to adopt non-Caucasian children. Still, they were grateful that none of it came from their family members or close friends. They were living their dreams and were thankful for it. Though the goal might have been unlike that of the usual family, it was all they hoped for and more.
Criticism and Disapproval
While the Halberts did enjoy an abundance of love and support from friends and family, the journey was not all rosy. Just as the Couple had expected, criticism and disapproval did follow their decisions. This mostly came from strangers who disapproved of their life choices.
Whether it was the old white woman at the store staring at the interracial family with disgust or the African- American mother who shook her head on seeing the white Couple with their African-American children, there was always someone willing to show their disapproval in one way or the other.
Support from Unexpected Places
Disapproval and criticism wasn’t the only thing the interracial family was greeted with whenever they walked out of their home together, however.
Just as there were white and black people alike who openly disagreed with the Halberts’ decisions, there were just as many white and black people who openly showed their support. There was the young black girl who shed tears of joy when she heard that Ford, a boy with the same skin color as hers, was the son of a white couple. There was the older white doctor who held him with affection and prayed for him. This additional support gave the Couple strength in the darker days.
No Regrets
Aaron and Rachel understand that they would probably always have to deal with the attention their multi-ethnic family would bring them. They are well aware that there would always be people around who would not be fond of diversity, but this doesn’t bother them as they do not care for their approval.
As Christians, they believe they have done the right thing. Since God, through his one and only son, extends salvation to everyone irrespective of race, tribe, or color, then a racially diverse family is nothing to feel ashamed of. The Couple has no regrets and believes that their family’s diversity is a cause for celebration, not scorn.
Reflections and Gratitude
Reflecting on their decisions so far, especially the decision to adopt embryos, the Couple once again affirmed that they have no regrets. While the embryo adoption process might not be for everyone, the Couple believes it was the perfect choice for them.
Rachel especially seemed to believe this, explaining that the experience for her was both beautiful and unique. It wasn’t only the fact that the process brought three beautiful babies into her life, but also the fact that it allowed her to experience pregnancy. She also expressed gratitude to the biological parents of the children who donated their embryos.
The Complexities of Embryo Adoption
Opting for embryo adoption is often a tough decision to make for donor families, and Rachel understood this. The fact that a family donated theirs to provide her with triplets, filled her with gratitude and sympathy.
Rachel once said regarding the complexities of the adoption process that it can be painful for someone to know that another person is raising their biological children. She also added that for some reason, regardless of the medical or family size or age, it's impossible to have any transfers. The actuality that her children’s biological parents were able to donate their embryos made them “brave and selfless” in her eyes.
An Opportunity to be Utilized
Both Aaron and Rachel are grateful for the joy the embryo adoption process brought into their home. They believe the process is an option that should be utilized more by families all over the world. Millions of embryos are out there waiting for families to adopt them and give them a chance to live.
Talking about which adoption option was much better, Rachel provided a little insight into the matter. According to her, embryo adoption is not more important than regular adoption; nevertheless, it was no less important either. All children’s lives are to be valued, whether they have been born or not.
Five Times More Work
If taking care of one child is a lot of work, you can bet that Rachel being a mother of five, certainly had her hands filled, especially since three of those children are a triplet.
Yet, while things in the Halbert household can get rather rowdy and chaotic from time to time, Rachel remains filled with joy and adores watching her children. She believes while she might have a bit more kids than the average mother, her life is no different from that of any other mom out there. Regardless of all the busy days and sleepless nights, she still would not have it any other way.
The Struggles of Any Mother
When Rachel speaks about busy days, though, she means it. Her days are mostly filled with feeding five energetic, growing kids. Changing lots of diapers and doing dirty laundry. Cleaning up after every mess the kids make, dividing her attention with all five kids, tending to household duties, and so much more.
Although all that work can get tiring once in a while, Rachel finds them also fulfilling. According to her, there is something special about taking the time to learn how to do the hair of her four beautiful daughters and one son.
An Unusual Family
Rachel and Aaron decided to try out adoption with an open mind. While both had always thought it a great idea, there was still no way to know what their decision would lead to. They took the bold step, and today they are a family with five happy children, two from regular adoption, and three from embryo adoption.
To the Couple, especially Rachel, who had always hoped to have four or five kids, this was a dream that came through even much faster than she could have ever expected. She is happy with both adoptions as all five children are growing happily and in good health.
Looking to the Future
Now with five kids, three of which were triplets, it’s no surprise that the Halberts are not sure whether or not they would like to have more kids. Although they are grateful for the joy the children brought to their lives and would love more of that, they would also love to enjoy this phase of life they are currently in.
The Halberts have decided to just enjoy what they have at the moment and see what the future holds. Maybe in the future, the Couple would once again try to conceive or adopt more children, but for now, they would simply count their blessings.
A New Team, a New Location, the Same Mission
With the triplets added to the family, the Halberts decided it was high time for a change of scenery and relocated to Tegucigalpa. The Couple remains in line with their calling as missionaries, continuing their work to give back to the community and share God’s love by helping the less fortunate in the capital and their community.
Apart from working together as missionaries, the pair also share the responsibility of caring for the children. However, Rachel has decided to commit her time to care for the children as a stay home mom. Both Aaron and Rachel continue to share the gospel anyhow they can.
A Success Story
While the Halbert family might not be your usual everyday family, they are, without a doubt, a family that tells of the possibility of a better world ─ one where people of diverse races and ethnicity can come together and be held together in and by love.
Yes, Aaron and Rachel are not biologically related to Ford, Catherine, Anne, Whitley, and Ryley; nevertheless, the children are theirs, and the Halberts love them unconditionally. This fact is probably the biggest lesson from the Halberts’ incredible family story ─ a family is connected by more than blood. It is connected by love, and this love knows no race or color.