40-50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. Just because a husband is smiling doesn’t necessarily mean he is happy in his marriage. It may not be that he doesn't love his wife anymore but rather that he's simply tired of the status quo. If we aren't careful, financial problems, work-related stress, or personal issues can eventually lead to divorce.
When things start to go awry in a marriage, a wife needs to know how to navigate through the storm so she can either save her marriage or prepare for the worst. Let's explore some of the most important tips to prevent a marriage from hitting rock bottom or to survive a breakup.
Most Men Want To Make Their Marriage To Work
Because men are often assumed to be unfaithful to their wives, there is a common misconception among women that men are less committed to their marriages. Yet the exact opposite tends to be the case: men typically want to stay married just as much as women do.
There have been numerous true stories written about men who were willing to go to any length in order to save their marriages. It is for reasons like this that we shouldn't believe everything portrayed in books, movies, music, and other pop-culture or entertainment media.
Infidelity Is Nothing Personal
Women whose husbands are unfaithful shouldn’t let it affect their self-esteem. Their husbands' behavior does not mean that they are not good enough or that it is somehow their fault. If a man decides to cheat on his wife, she should just let him go.
Such women should recognize that there are plenty of other men who would love to be their partners. Whether they're co-workers, friends, or even strangers, these men are out there waiting to be found. All it takes is going on social outings or attending parties.
Divorce Can Happen To Anyone
Life has a way of throwing us off sometimes. A woman can make breakfast for them before her husband leaves for work, then be faced with separation when he comes home. And once that occurs, her life changes forever as both her financial and her emotional state drastically shifts.
Women whose marriages fall apart should not be discouraged. If they desire physical intimacy, know how to run a household, and have a decent reputation, there's no reason for them to remain single, so they should be unafraid to pick up the pieces and rebuild their lives.
Remember, Married Couples Are On The Same Team
Though we should always be prepared for divorce, we should also keep in mind that it can usually be prevented if we take proactive steps to maintain our marriages. For instance, wives shouldn't blame their husbands for bad moods and minor spats, learning to let go of the little things.
This becomes easier when a wife looks at issues from her husband's point of view. She should try to accommodate him without compromising her self-respect. The same applies to him of course. Though there will be some hard conversations, we would do well to remain calm and remember that both spouses are on the same team.
Husbands Also Have Emotional Needs
Women should be aware that their husbands have important emotional needs as well. If a wife perceives her husband to be insensitive to her needs, she shouldn't take offense and lash out at him. Otherwise, he might interpret her reaction as a sign of disrespect.
Sensing disrespect in a marriage drives a wedge between a man and his wife. To preserve their marriages, women must understand that men need to feel respected by their wives. If women were to talk to their husbands the same way they talk to their best friends, the divorce rate would be significantly reduced.
Lay Boundaries, Not Blame
During the inevitable confrontations, spouses should not point out each other's faults but simply ignore them. Marriages often collapse when spouses become fixated on petty disagreements between them. While it is important for spouses to stand up for themselves, there should always be respect on both sides.
Conflicts within a marriage may be unavoidable, but they can be overcome if spouses have mutual respect and receive emotional support from one another. Instead of pushing each other's buttons, spouses should focus on resolving their conflicts and share equal responsibility for finding common ground.
Yes Is More Important Than No
It is always best for partners to focus on saying yes rather than no to one another, and they should get into the habit of reminding each other whenever one starts to lose this focus. This is true not just of marriages but of all relationships.
Every relationship, including marriage, is founded on mutual understanding between two partners. As one person consents to the other's proposed solutions, conflicts are eliminated a little bit at a time. Coming to a happy conclusion is much easier when partners agree to the same things.
Talk And Listen To Each Other Every Day
Regular conversations between spouses enhance their sense of belonging in the relationship as they learn what makes each other tick. Things like sharing a couch and slight physical contact, such as holding hands or rubbing elbows, during the conversation also help make the bond stronger.
Just listening and talking every day can lay the foundation of a long-lasting marriage. By taking the time every day to get to know each other, spouses gradually begin to take ownership of their marriage and experience the deep satisfaction of knowing and being known.
Be Involved In Family Finances
Husbands have traditionally taken care of household finances such as paying the bills. While it's very convenient for a wife to let her husband handle everything, there's no harm in understanding where the family's money is going. She should feel free to ask him about it.
A wife should also hold her husband accountable for his expenditures. Moreover, she should have her own funds set aside as a backup plan in case he divorces her. If he fails to pay child support, she can use these funds to help provide for the family. Plus, it boosts self-esteem and self-confidence.
Plan For The Future
A married couple would do well to have things like insurance and a living trust to prevent a financial collapse in case one of them dies unexpectedly or a dire emergency arises. Studies have shown that women tend to live longer than men, so wives should strive to become financially independent.
To that end, wives should consider avenues that will give them a good rate of return in the future. Contributing up to $5,000 a year to a retirement fund is not a bad idea, especially since it's deductible when spouses file a joint tax return.
Laugh Together As Often As Possible
For relationships, laughter really is the best medicine, healing and preventing any feelings of bitterness. Therefore, married couples should always try to laugh together as much as they can. Such joyous quality time makes people happy, and happiness is a top priority for most individuals.
Because laughter brings a sense of euphoria, it helps to break down the barriers that normally exist between spouses. As they laugh together during their quality time, spouses strengthen the bond between them so that they share a great feeling of togetherness all day long.
Have Separate Interests And At Least One Shared Interest
Everyone loves to pursue their own interests and hobbies, but it's also great fun for a married couple to sit together and share their achievements and experiences in what they have each been pursuing. This helps spouses include each other even in their separate activities.
But spouses should have at least one interest in common as well, such as running, cooking, or politics. In addition to enabling spouses to enjoy activities together, shared interests can become topics of conversation with one another, thus making them more engaged in their relationship.
Be Courteous To Each Other
Polite gestures play a significant role in relationship building. A few examples of such pleasantries include saying good morning and good night, expressing appreciation, apologizing, hugging, and touching. Direct eye contact, small talk, texting, emailing, and phone calls can help to spice up the relationship.
In addition to the obvious benefit of promoting mutual respect in a marriage, incorporating common courtesy into daily life helps spouses feel important to each other. It also enables spouses to remind one another how they make the world a better place to live in.
Kindness Is The Key, Abuse Is A Deal Breaker
Women should expect to be treated with kindness, dignity, and respect at all times. Physical abuse is always accompanied by mental abuse. If a woman thinks her husband is disrespecting her, she's right. Only she knows how that feels, so she should always trust her instincts.
Some husbands start abusing their wives when they want out of their marriages. If it comes to that, it's time to go, but let the bitterness end with the bad marriage. Rather, continue to be kind to the people around you, displaying the radiance of your courage and inner beauty for the whole world to see.
A Financial Advisor Can Help Prepare For The Worst
If a husband starts showing signs of discontent with his marriage, his wife should seek marriage counseling rather than retaliate. Couples should try to save their marriages, if not for themselves, then for their children. However, a wife shouldn't pin all her hopes on reconciliation.
Just in case the intervention doesn't work, a wife should find a financial advisor as a failsafe so that she will have professional guidance on sensitive financial issues in the event of a breakup. Saving her finances is just as important as saving her marriage.
Divorcees Shouldn't Neglect Their Jobs
After a woman's marriage breaks down, the pain may cause her to become a shut-in for the first six months after the divorce. Nonetheless, she should not forget about her family, friends, and colleagues but make an effort to stay in touch with her social networks.
Since a divorced woman is now responsible for her own finances, she should pull herself together and either stick with her job or find a way to make a living for her family. Women should always remember that a man is not a financial plan.
It's A Bumpy Ride, But Probably Worth It
In marriage, there will always be ups and downs, golden and tarnished moments, and gray areas. But when both spouses recognize the importance of making each other feel loved, the special bond they share can overcome any obstacles in their relationship that come their way.
If at any point in a marriage spouses begin to drift apart, it may be because they've neglected the bond between them. In such cases, following the tips we've discussed can help bring the relationship back on track. When both spouses want to work out the kinks, solutions are always within reach.